


White Josh Kissed Me! (And I Don't Know What That Means!)

by scullyseviltwin



Category: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-05-18 01:51:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5893546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scullyseviltwin/pseuds/scullyseviltwin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darryl has a new friend... </p>
<p>A <i>confirmed</i> friend. They’d spent so long chatting on the bus and then at the beach that Darryl had thought <i>maybe, maybe</i> but...</p>
<p>("I'm Back at Camp with Josh!" post-ep.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	White Josh Kissed Me! (And I Don't Know What That Means!)

**Author's Note:**

> My heartfelt gratitude to [American Amber](http://www.iloveyouandilikeyou.tumblr.com) and [Allison](http://www.stars-inthe-sky.tumblr.com) for the quick turn around on this.

Of _course_ he doesn’t sleep.

First of all, the house is too quiet with Madison gone. Second of all, well. 

Is his cheek tingling? It feels like it’s tingling, maybe. Darryl touches his face, the pads of fingertips dragging over a five o’clock shadow, and he finds himself frowning, deeply.

And then, just as fast the frown had come on, it’s replaced with giddy laughter. Manic laughter. Laughter that sounds painful to his own ears. Darryl pulls his fingers away from his cheek—he’s taken a shower, there’s nothing _there_ to feel—but brings them back again almost immediately.

This is _insane_.

The evening had been…fun. His crudite platter had been a hit, as had the cheese plate. And those onions? Caramelized to perfection. The women had actually been nice, unassuming. Sure, his bathroom had ended up really, very wet, but otherwise, it’d been a nice, normal evening; he’d pulled it off. People had had fun. And he’d made a new friend.

A new…friend.

A new friend?

A _confirmed_ friend. They’d spent so long chatting on the bus and then at the beach that Darryl had thought _maybe, maybe_ but...

Darryl clasps his hands together and rests them atop the quilt that covers him to his hips. After a moment, he brings his joined hands a bit higher, rests them on his stomach and makes a concerted effort to shut his brain _off_.

…

…

...not going to happen.

Sighing, he wriggles onto his side and presses his face into the pillow, the side of his face that Josh had kissed. Josh kissed him. The super fit, funny, handsome _young man_ had kissed him. How old was Josh, anyway? Thirty? He couldn’t be _more_ than thirty, surely. 

Not that he thinks of himself as old, just, well, he’s . Forty isn’t old, but…forty isn’t thirty. 

And isn’t he getting ahead of himself? Why is he even thinking about this? It was just a friendly, goodbye, kiss on the cheek. Between bros. Josh had been very clear when he’d called Darryl his bro.

And bros kissed one another sometimes, didn’t they?

He doesn’t know what he’s thinking, he really doesn’t, because _he’s_ never kissed any of _his_ bros before. Or he wouldn’t, if he had any. A kiss between relatives, maybe; he’s done that, remembers kissing his grandfather on the cheek when he went away for college, but…

That’s not the _point_.

The point is that he wants to know what a kiss on the cheek from a younger, more handsome man _means_...because he’d enjoyed it. 

Sure, it’d surprised him, but he’d _enjoyed_ it, and now couldn’t help wonder what it would have been like if Josh had angled himself slightly more to the right. 

He’s always liked who he’s liked, and he’s never made any _secret_ of that. That’s not what has him so worked up.

It’s all so confusing. Not confusing in an _Oh god, am I gay?_ way; it’s more of an _Am I reading the signals properly?_ way. It’s been so _long_ since he’s had to interpret someone’s signals. 

...except for that one time in Canada. That’s a secret he’ll take to the grave. 

Darryl ponders, presses his joined hands into the softness of his belly and sighs. 

He’ll be the first to admit that he doesn’t exactly have the world’s greatest amount of self-esteem; he’d let himself go a bit when things started to get tough with Stacy. He’d started to work out less, eat worse, and wonder if he’d ever land a person as outwardly effervescent as Stacy was.

Even if she was a cheating, lying, manipulative woman, she’d been—in society’s eyes—a catch. A good-looking woman, someone who anyone would’ve said was out of Darryl’s league. And it had taken him a long time to realize that it was _he_ who would out of _her_ league.

...as far as moral fastidiousness and kindness and intelligence went, anyway.

So there.

For a brief moment he feels a pang of regret for thinking of Stacy in such unsavory terms and then realizes that he needs to take the advice of his therapist. He needs to let her go; they’re not in one another’s live anymore and he has to let it go.

But he shouldn’t be thinking of Stacy.

He should be thinking of Josh, because Josh kissed him and oh boy.

He doesn’t know what that means. 

If he’s being honest with himself, completely and utterly honest and forthcoming with his own inner dialogue, he can admit that even when he’d seen Josh at the gym, all of those months ago, he’d been attracted. How could he not be? He had _eyes_ and Josh was, okay, yes, a perfect specimen of a man.

Honestly, he would have had to have been _blind_ not to notice that. But that didn’t explain why he’d _kept_ watching, maybe kept planning his workouts for days that he knew the good-looking trainer would be in. 

And that good-looking trainer had _kissed him_.

On the cheek, on the cheek, he reminds himself, but…

He’d hugged him, too.

Josh had _winked_! What did that wink mean? Was the wink related to the not-on-the-lips kiss or was it independent of the kiss? He finds that his hand has migrated again without him realizing it, once more stroking over the place that Josh’s lips had landed.

Darryl pulls up the image in his mind, recalls what it had felt like. He’d assumed that Josh was going in for a bro hug: one arm around the shoulders and then three hearty smacks to the shoulderblades. But then his face had moved in and Darryl had seen it in slow motion, felt as though Josh had been swimming through gelatin in the time it took for Josh’s face to reach his face. 

And he’d been so caught off guard that he’d just _stood_ there. But what, in retrospect, would he have done? He still doesn’t know what the kiss had meant; if he’d angled his mouth closer to Josh’s mouth, would he have ruined everything? And why would such a young, good-looking man want to…

But no. Darryl pulls his thoughts up short. He’s a _lawyer_. He’s a smart man, has an active lifestyle, makes people laugh when push comes to shove. He’s a good boss and a good father and a good _person_.

So maybe, just maybe, Josh had been afraid of going for it too. 

_Oh god_.

For the first time in a very long time, a thrill of butterflies run through Darryl’s belly and he hopes. 

He _hopes_.


End file.
